8/09/2008 01:24:00 AM

All Alone :(

My husband is gone! Well, at least for a couple of weeks. He went to Kentucky for his work. It was really interesting and enjoyable to see him so excited this afternoon while we were on our way to the airport. He looked like a little boy, so innocently happy.
My mother-in-law is coming on Monday from Bangladesh for the first time. She has never left Bangladesh, and has definitely never flown on a plane before. Also she does not speak very much English. You are probably wondering why my husband went to Kentucky when his mother (who he has not seen in 3 years) is coming. Well, he said it is a once in a lifetime opportunity. At first, I was very angry. But then I realized that I couldn't control what he chooses to do, and that I would have to learn to handle some things on my own. I guess that I am trying to be positive so that I can prove to myself and him that I can handle stressful situations. See, I am easily upset. I have to have everything go a certain way. I love routine and plans, and when things change, or if they get slightly difficult, I tend to 'freak out.' Well, I am going to try very hard to be as calm as I can be. I am hoping that my girls will help to diffuse the situation by creating an instant bond between us. I guess I am just wondering what we are going to do for an entire week by ourselves. I feel like it is going to be so awkward. But my husband assures me that without him there to be our 'buffer', we will work things out by ourselves and that will be better for us in the long run. I certainly hope so, because she is staying for at least 6 months, maybe even one year.
I must admit that I am slightly confused at why my hubby would want to leave at this time. I would be so excited to see my mommy! It seems so selfish and immature. (I told him that I feel this way) But to each his own, I guess.
I think I am super nervous, and there is still so much to do around the house to prepare for her arrival. We have been trying to get things done, but unfortunately, my husband and I are both procrastinators. There are many things that I will have to skip in order to complete absolutely necessary things in time. That seems to be the norm around here. It is a huge frustration. I cannot seem to accomplish anything, and if I do, it is usually last minute, and is not as thorough as it should be. Oh, well. Too late now.
Some good news: Z clapped for the first time this week! She is so cute, masha'Allah. She tries to put her tiny hands up above her head, but her chubby upper arms (and body in general) inhibit her a bit. But she reaches as high as she can and triumphantly thrusts her hands together, one going right past the other, missing every other time. I love that munchkin so much. Since I started her on formula, her personality really shines, and I have finally been able to form a deep bond with her. I think the stress of almost constant crying really inhibited my ability to truly bond with her. Alhamdulillah, now I feel so happy!!!

And with that...



multiculturalmuslimah said...

Did you have the same thing with her as you did with A and breast feeding? The constant crying? I remember how different A was after you started her on formula as well.