8/14/2008 01:36:00 AM


It is so strange that no matter how much a person tries to prepare themselves for a certain situation in their lives, they can never truly know what it is like until they experience it. This is so true for me in every major event in my life. Some realities have proven more challenging then others. Take for instance, marriage, having 2 children very close together, and currently, the arrival of my mother-in-law.
Alhamdulillah, she is fantastic! She is so sweet, and I must say, I did not know that people came in that size!!!! LOL. When she stands, she does not even reach past my shoulders, and I am only 5' 4" tall! Masha'Allah! A loves her and now she runs around the house screaming "DADU!!!"(Bangla for 'Grandma on your father's side') I call her 'Ma', so from now on, I will refer to her as Ma, insha'Allah. ('Abbu' is father, so I will refer to my husband's father as 'Abbu') Her English is much better then I expected. I guess it is always different when you are speaking with someone face-to-face. I believe that we are doing pretty well for ourselves on the communication front. I usually speak very quickly, but I am learning to slow down and pronounce my words clearly. I am also learning to stop using slang like 'gonna.' Also, I tend to say some words wrong. Maybe it is the 'Minnesota' accent. I say 'ta' instead of 'to' and I usually don't pronounce most 'T's. But I am trying very hard to speak proper English so that she can understand. I think that this is very good for me, because people have been telling me for a long time that I speak too fast. So, whenever I am trying to convey a message, I say everything at least 3 times in 3 different ways, until I see that 'light bulb' go off in her head, and then I know she understands. Side note: It really bothers me when people that don't speak English very well will say they understood something when they did not. I realize that it might be embarrassing, or frustrating to have to constantly ask again, but what if it was really important? My husband and I had an experience like this recently with someone and something that needed to get done did not. I am happy to try and explain things again, but I cannot always tell if someone understood everything.

Moving on. So everything is going well, although I was not prepared for taking care of her. I don't know why, but for some reason I thought that she was going to come and be this huge relief for me with the girls, but instead, she is another person for me to take care of. I am not complaining though. Alhamdulillah, I want to make her sooo happy and I love getting things for her, and I love to see her sitting and relaxing. It is a little stressful, but I think it is worth it. The main thing is that now I am having to adjust my whole expectations on how this was going to be. I thought I would be able to get a part-time job, and feel comfortable leaving my children with someone who loves them and would share the same values as I do. Now I realize that might not be possible. I will have to stay and make sure that she is fed and takes her insulin, takes a shower, drinks enough water, etc. Again, not complaining, just making adjustments. I cannot wait for my husband's return on Saturday. I would like to get into a routine, and figure out all of the things that work for us.

When Ma was leaving Bangladesh, Abbu, my husband's brother and his wife and daughter accompanied her to the airport. I heard from my husband that Abbu was crying when she left. I think that is so cute! (hopefully I don't sound mean) I just think that after being married for almost 40 years, they have not been away from each other for more then 2 weeks, and they love each other so much. My father-in-law is usually so stern and serious. In all of the pictures I have seen, he is never smiling. He always looks very proud and noble, and very much like a no-nonsense type of guy. Well, to hear of him reacting like that melted my heart. When Ma was able to call back to Bangladesh Tuesday morning, she was talking to Abbu and I could hear that the moment he picked up the phone, she started crying. I could here all of the love in her voice, also all of the pain and fear that she was experiencing, being so far from home and family.

Well, it is getting very late, and I need to get to bed, so I will end here.


P.S. Within a week, I think that Z's first tooth will poke through, insha'Allah.